


an eternity with you

by appleofmysirius



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Childhood Friends, F/M, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appleofmysirius/pseuds/appleofmysirius
Summary: You've been best friends with your soulmate, Ushijima Wakatoshi for as long as you can remember. Your own fruitless crush aside, nothing happens between the two of you until everything does.
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 142





	an eternity with you

You are five years old when you first meet your soulmate.

Having just moved into the neighbourhood, your parents take you to visit the family living next door. Your mother carries a box of sweet rice cakes while your father holds your hand as you trot along the path to your neighbour’s place. 

A sedate old woman opens the door, beckoning your family inside. She invites you for tea, insisting her own daughter and grandson would be joining.

“Y/N-chan,” she addresses you directly, “our Wakatoshi is your age. You two can play together.” 

You nod, not knowing what ‘Wakatoshi’ is like. Or whether you’d like him. 

He appears a moment after, holding his mother’s hand. She ushers him over to your side. 

Peering curiously at him, a sudden explosion behind your eyes makes you fall back in shock. You burst into tears while Ushijima has an utterly perplexed expression as he blinks, taking in the colours for the first time. 

“Oh my,’ Ushijima’s mother says, “They must be soulmates.” 

Your own mother rubs your back as she tries to calm you down, while your father and Ushijima’s mother and grandmother bow at each other, promising to take care of the both of you from now on. 

Later, once you’ve calmed, the two of you are sent to play in the garden. 

“Blue,” says the quiet voice of Ushijima, as he points to the small water feature. You walk over to the pond, trying to pick up some of the water with your hands so you can observe this fascinating colour closely. Having not quite managed the art of cupping your hands just yet, the water slips through your fingers before you can get a good look. 

Ushijima joins your side, scooping up some water for you to see. 

“How did you know it’s ‘blue’?” You ask, plopping down on the grass. Ushijima copies your motion. 

“My father told me. Water’s blue.” He states plainly. You nod, since this is all very new information for you. 

Getting up, Ushijima extends a hand towards you. “Do you play volleyball?” 

Shaking your head, Ushijima volunteers to teach you. He gets out a colourful ball, instructing you how to lock your arms forward to ‘receive’ the ball. 

The two of you pass the ball back and forth for awhile until his mother comes to check on the two of you.

“Wakatoshi, how’s- You’re playing volleyball with Y/N-chan? Seriously,” she sighs. 

“It’s okay, auntie,” you flash her a toothy smile, “I like playing with ‘Toshi.” 

Your parents collect you soon after so you can head home for dinner. As you bid your neighbours goodbye, you dart over to give Ushijima a tight hug. As you leave, you notice his eyes glued on to you. Giving him an extra bright smile, you hope to communicate your excitement at having just found a new best friend. 

–

Growing up alongside Ushijima meant that you were able to witness firsthand his growing prowess in volleyball. What started with the two of you being enrolled in a volleyball class at the community centre slowly delved into you supporting Ushijima’s little league games. You weren’t interesting in playing the sport- rather, you liked spending time with your best friend and you loved watching him in his element. 

Once you adjusted to the colours, it was easy to forget sometimes that Ushijima was your other half. After all, you had only known love and affection for him throughout your life. Since you met your soulmate at such a young age, the two of you were attached at the hip, but it was much more of a platonic relationship than anything. But given that you were still children for the most part, you were perfectly okay with that.

You never contemplated your growing attraction to him blossoming in middle school. Now, your platonic love feelings for Ushijima had morphed into an embarrassing longing and urge to be near him all the time, to touch him in some way. 

Entering Shiratorizawa Middle School complicated your relationship somewhat. For starters, some of your classmates had started finding their own soulmates. It was hard to feign excitement at someone else discovering their colours when you could scarcely remember a time before you saw everything in colour.

In your third year, Ushijima and you are finally in the same class. The discussion at lunch slowly veers into soulmates and things of that nature. That’s when Ushijima drops the bombshell.

“Y/N is my soulmate,” states Ushijima when asked if he had met his soulmate. A rising profile in the school as its star volleyball player, Ushijima has quite a crowd of admirers. 

Suddenly, you can feel all eyes in the classroom turn to you. Even your friends- whom you have never revealed this information to- are surprised. You flush scarlet at the attention, turning your gaze to the eraser shavings on your table. Worsened by the fact that you do actually have growing romantic feelings for him, to which you would rather chew glass before it got out. 

Being bombarded with questions was awkward, even more so when Ushijima did nothing to help you answer them, turning back to his own lunch. 

After school, as you walk home together, you question him.

“I was asked about my soulmate so I told them.” Ushijima answers simply. 

“Yes, but _why_ couldn’t you just play it off?” You whine, still reeling from the embarrassing encounter in class. 

“You are my soulmate. There is no harm in them knowing.” Ushijima’s brows are furrowed slightly, confused at why you were adamant that he shouldn’t have told the class. 

“Because,” you mumble, “just _because_.” 

“Are you embarrassed of me, Y/N?” He asks.

As if, you think. You could never be embarrassed of having him for a soulmate. If anything, it should be the other way around. But you had no idea how to explain to him that sometimes you have a weird flutter in your stomach when he smiles or that your palms get all sweaty every time he initiates casual contact with you. 

“I wish, ‘Toshi,” you scoff, knocking his arm with your shoulder, “I’d just prefer if people didn’t know, that’s all. It’s not something I’d like to make public.” 

“Alright,” Ushijima nods with an incomprehensible glint of his eyes and a slight downturn of his lips. “I won’t bring it up anymore.” 

–

You entire Shiratorizawa High School without so much of a flourish. Ushijima devotes nearly all of his free time to volleyball, while you pursue other interests, such as joining the debate club and student council. 

Ushijima opts to stay in the dorms, while you make the commute from home every day. This further cuts into the time you have with each other. Your relationship- being as solid as it is- merely adapts to the changes you both throw at it. You occasionally help out at the volleyball club, roped in by Ushijima’s friend, Tendou. Ushijima finds the time to bring you home once a week, visiting both his and your family as well. 

One practice, as you’re washing up the water bottles at the taps outside the gym, Tendou skips over to you.

“Don’t hug me when you’re all sweaty!” You warn, holding your hands up. 

“Y/N!” He whines playfully, before his expression schools into one of seriousness.

“Wakatoshi-kun just told me you’re his soulmate!” 

This again, you think, annoyed. Before you enrolled in high school, you had begged Ushijima- now a bona fide school superstar- to keep the true nature of your relationship under wraps. You had fully accepted you had a useless crush on him, which would probably go nowhere, as he seemed utterly disinterested in you romantically. The last thing you wanted was this embarrassing secret getting out if people found out the true nature of your connection with the school’s biggest star. 

“I see,” you reply cryptically. 

“Wouldn’t you want to know how I found out?” Tendou sings. 

Rolling your eyes at him, you nod. 

“Some girl from our class confessed to him today! Told him he wanted to wear his jersey to our next match. And he said yes. So I asked if she was his soulmate, to which he said that, no, you were his soulmate.” 

Instantly, your heart drops to your stomach. You had previously written off Ushijima’s disinterest in you as a disinterest in dating in general, but now it seems that your feelings are more unrequited than anything.

Tendou notes the sudden souring in your mood, clasping your shoulder tightly. 

“Why don’t I help you out today? I’ll walk you home and we can stop for ice cream on the way.” He offers. 

You nod, unable to reply any other way, in fear that that if you open your mouth the dam will break and you won’t stop crying. 

Tendou makes good on his offer, treating you to a popsicle from the convenience store. 

“Here,” he unwraps it, handing it to you. The two of you eat your popsicles in silence as he walks you home. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says after a beat. “I’ve always known that you liked Wakatoshi- from the first moment I saw you two together. But he’s so very dense when it comes to you.” 

“If you’re gonna tell me that he isn’t worth it, then-” 

“I’m not going to say that,” laughs Tendou. “But I am going to say, don’t give up hope. He’s dense, but his heart is in the right place. I’m sure you know this by now. Just say it to his face, plainly and simply.” 

“Tendou,” you sigh, “I just don’t see him returning my feelings any time soon.” 

“Like I said,” Tendou gives you a kind smile, “Don’t give up hope.” 

When you get home, you notice three text messages from Ushijima. You ignore them, muting his chat and throwing your phone in your bag. 

– 

You never bring up the topic of the girl with Ushijima. To your great relief, she disappears from his life almost as suddenly as she entered it. She wears his jersey for all of one game before it returns to its place on his shoulders. 

In your third year, an upset to your equilibrium shocks the both of you. 

It starts with Shiratorizawa losing to Karasuno in the Miyagi Prefecture Finals. Your heart drops as the referee signals Karasuno’s win, the urge to run to the boys and hug them all overwhelming you. Immediately, you take off from the stands to head to the locker rooms, where you’ll wait for Ushijima. 

On your way out, you knock into someone carrying a coffee. Your white school blazer gets stained a splotchy brown with the coffee and you look down in horror as the coffee seeps through your clothes. 

“Oh my god,” says the person who bumped into you, a boy with wavy brown hair and glasses, “I am so sorry.” 

His friend who was with him kicks him in the shin. 

“Ow! Anyways,” he takes his phone out of his pocket, “give me your number. The least I can do is to foot the dry-cleaning bill.” 

In a daze, you key your number into his phone, darting off towards the locker rooms after. 

Ushijima appears soon after, freshly showered and carrying his bag.

“Y/N,” he blinks in surprise. 

“Oh, ‘Toshi,” you exclaim, throwing yourself into a hug with him. He returns your affections, thanking you for your support by mumbling something into your hair. 

“You did so well today,” you praise, squeezing his shoulders. 

“Your blazer,” he notes. You look down at the white blazer, now stained with coffee. Recounting the situation to him, he frowns. 

“Let’s go home.” He declares, steering you in the direction of the train station. On the way, he makes you shrug off your blazer and offers you his team jacket in its place. As you sit by his side on the train, you try your best to avoid acting weird in front of him. Even though you feel like melting- his jacket is warm and it smells like him; his presence by your side like a rock, stable and unwavering. 

“I really appreciate you being here,” Ushijima says, turning to face you.

“Of course, ‘Toshi,” you smile because it really is that simple. He’s your best friend and you love him- you will always be there to support him. He’s quite literally your other half- where would you be if not with him?

“You’re my best friend,” he smiles softly. You return the smile, because even though a part of you is breaking at being shunted into the ‘friend’ category, Ushijima’s love is as precious as it is immense. You feel it in everything he does for you, from spending time with you, forwarding whatever memes Tendou sends him because he knows you appreciate them more, to taking time out of his busy schedule to attend all your debate competitions. To walk you home whenever he can. 

“You can stay over,” he informs you, as your street comes into view. As per your tradition, you normally stay over at his home whenever he returns from the dorms. 

“’Toshi,” you begin, lounging on his bed while he unpacks his gym bag, “Would your girlfriend mind that I’m staying overnight?” 

Of course, you know there’s no girlfriend. But you decide to push his buttons a little.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he wrinkles his nose. You ignore the wear your heart soars a little at that. 

“Tendou told me about that girl who asked to wear your jersey,” you tell him, discarding your earlier plan to never bring her up.

“I thought she wanted to do that to support Shiratorizawa. I asked for my jersey back when Tendou told me that wearing someone’s jersey is more of a romantic gesture. Given that I am not interested in her romantically, I did not think it was appropriate for her to continue wearing my jersey.”

Tendou, you think, I owe you one. 

You do your best to conceal the the wide smile on your face by burying underneath the covers. Ushijima sits himself down at the foot of the bed. In his hand, he’s holding his clean jersey, now neatly folded. 

“I-”

Whatever he’s about to say is interrupted by your phone chiming with the alert sound for a new message. Three new messages from the guy who spilled his coffee all over you. 

“Hey,” you mumble to yourself, “his name sounds familiar.”

Nudging Ushijima in the back with your foot, you ask, “’Toshi, do you know an ‘Oikawa’?” 

His eyes narrow marginally, “Yes. Why?”

“He’s just asked me out for coffee. As a repayment for the spilled coffee,” you giggle, showing him the text messages Oikawa sent, riddled with emojis. 

Ushijima’s mouth sets in a firm line. Getting up to put his dirty clothes away in the laundry, he leaves you alone in his room. 

The next day, Ushijima insists on bringing you to meet Oikawa. You wanted to refuse, but something about this Oikawa ruffled his feathers a bit and you were curious to see why.

“L/N-chan!” Oikawa greets, from where he was casually leaning on the glass outside the cafe he asked to meet you. His bright smile never leaves his face, but the happiness in his eyes dies somewhat when he turns his gaze to your best friend.

“Ushiwaka-chan. I should congratulate you on a game well-played.” 

“Thank you,” He nods at Oikawa. He leaves the both of you to have coffee, making you promise to wait for him to fetch you.

“What’s the deal between the two of you?” Asks Oikawa, taking a sip out of his frappucino.

“Best friends since childhood and all that jazz.” You neglect to mention that he’s your soulmate because you didn’t want to open that bag of worms. 

After 10 minutes of talking to him, you realise Oikawa Tooru is exactly the kind of boy Ushijima is not. In that he’s a natural pleaser, a flirt and a total closed book. 

You bid him goodbye with a wave after about an hour, letting him know that you would be sending the dry-cleaning bill to him in the next couple of days. 

Ushijima is waiting for you patiently outside the cafe. On the way home, he doesn’t say say anything. While this only makes him slightly less quiet than he normally is, its strange nonetheless because Ushijima always engaged in conversation with you.

Bumping your hand against his, you try to get him to snap out of his weird mood. 

“Y/N,” he stops in his tracks as you approach your street, “I love you. As in, romantically.” 

“That’s not funny,” you frown, teasing smile evaporating from your lips. 

“It’s not a joke,” he insists. “I asked Tendou why it made me upset that you were going out with Oikawa and he told me that it’s because I love you. That I was jealous.” 

“So Tendou put you up to this,” you nod, realisation dawning on you. That if not for you going out with someone else, he never would have realised he felt anything for you. That he was content to remain as friends had Tendou not said anything.

“I don’t want to deal with this right now,” you try to brush past him and walk home. But a hand on your arm stops you so you turn to face him.

“Is it because of Oikawa?” He asks.

“I could give a fuck about Oikawa!” You exclaim, months of frustration pouring out. “I’ve loved you for so long but you only seem to care now that I went out with Oikawa. Maybe you just don’t like me having other friends. I really don’t think you should confuse your feelings to be any more than that.” 

“But you’re my soulmate, Y/N,” he persists.

“Like that matters,” you snort. “Tendou told me you accepted that girl’s confession. And you never seemed to want to anything with me beyond being just friends even though you knew I was your soulmate for thirteen years.” 

He reaches out for you but you pull away. “You only started caring once you realised I might be spending my time with someone else. I may be your soulmate, but I’m not your pet. I really don’t want to speak to you now, ‘Toshi.” 

You dart off down the street before he can catch you. 

Ushijima was dense when it came to feelings. And this is something you knew loud and clear. But you never imagined he would be this ignorant of what he felt- of what _you_ felt. You turn your phone off before he can contact you, locking your door and pulling up your comfort movie to watch. 

As tempted as you are to skip school the next day and avoid Ushijima, you don’t. Luckily, he keeps his distance and avoids you for most of the day. It appears fortune isn’t entirely on your side though, because he’s sitting in your living room when you arrive home that day. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You ask, annoyed, ignoring your mother’s scandalised gasp at your language. 

“I would like to speak with you,” he requests, standing up to face you.

“Urgh, fine,” you wave a hand at him, “Let’s go to the backyard.” 

Ushijima sits on the bench you have in your backyard- the very same backyard that the two of you have spent years playing in and hanging out in together. The very same backyard in which he brought his crayons and explained all the colours his father taught him. 

Kicking your feet through the grass, you turn to him. “You wanted to speak, so speak.” 

Ushijima grasps your hand in his. He takes a deep breath, schooling himself for what he’s about to say. “I’m not good with words, Y/N, so I have rehearsed what I wanted to say to you.”

He waits for your acknowledgement to continue.

“I have always loved you. And it’s not just because you are my soulmate. But I never realised that what I felt transitioned into romantic love because I’ve loved you since we were five years old. You have always been by side, supporting me in my volleyball, which is something I treasure immensely.”

He clears his throat, flushing slightly, “When I heard that you were going out with Oikawa, I got upset. He’s handsome and popular with girls, so I assumed you were attracted to him. I got jealous because I wanted you to feel that way only about me.” 

When he turns his eyes to you, the sincerity brimming within them immediately softens you. Ushijima’s heart of gold is hidden within his many, many layers of stoicism. But it is there, glistening and gleaming and bursting with love in all its glory.

“’Toshi,” you sigh, “This whole mess started because I was tired of you treating me like I was just _there_ until someone else came into the picture. I’m your soulmate- I,” and there’s a lump in your throat as you give in to your selfish desires, “I wanted to feel special to you. 

“You are special,” he protests, “you are everything to me. I see you in everything I do- from schoolwork, to volleyball. You are one of the best things in my life. I never wanted to upset you. To make you feel like you were anything but special to me is never my intention. And I thought that you always wanted to keep our relationship as soulmates a secret because you did not love me like that.” 

Looking at your entwined hands, you let go of the final thing weighing in your mind. “It just bothers me that it took something like this for you to realise what you felt. And that Tendou had to tell you.” 

Ushijima recounts his conversation with Tendou, “I told him that I’ve always felt warm and comforted by you, and that is a feeling that has not changed for years. But when I saw you smiling with Oikawa, I felt like something heavy was in my stomach. I didn’t know what it was because I’ve never felt it before.” 

“Oh, ‘Toshi,” you laugh, truly unable to hold any anger towards him for any longer. You hug him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. 

When you pull apart, Ushijima’s eyes sparkle in a way that you’ve never seen. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Of course,” you smile, leaning your forehead against his. 

You meet his lips and the feeling is like when you first met him all those years ago. The love you hold for him thrums in your veins and you have the urge to hold on to him and never let go. 

Pulling apart from the kiss, he asks, “Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now? Or is there something else we have to do first?”

“No, ‘Toshi,” you laugh, pressing your forehead on his shoulder, “This means we’re together now.” 

“Good,” he smiles, caressing a hand on the back of your head. “I’m happy.” 

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my fellow leo and one of the many lomls, USHIWAKA <3 
> 
> also check me out @1tooru on tumblr for more writing!


End file.
